Divorce

“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)

Let’s get this settled right at the top of the page; Divorce is NOT the unforgivable sin. Okay?

That said, I find it interesting that of all the many things we find defined as sin in scripture this one was actually ALLOWED under the Old Law!

Jesus, thru-out his ministry took the fine points of law, as taught by the rabbis and BROADENED the definition; “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” (Matthew 5:21-22)

We see this pattern over and over “Ye have heard that it was said…” “BUT, I say unto you…” I believe Jesus was teaching that God’s view of sin is not so narrow and legalistic as man’s. Jesus is making the point that ALL have sinned. This is leading into His final sacrifice for ALL sin, no matter how narrowly or broadly defined.

You see, divorce IS a sin, yes. Jesus makes that clear. And then He went to the Cross and DIED for your divorce!

BTW, to suggest that one should get ANOTHER divorce to undo the first remarriage is an absurdity, as is the argument that the couple weren’t really believers so it don’t count! Sin is Sin. Did Jesus die for nothing? Did his death on the Cross NOT cover the sin of divorce?
So… if it’s Judgment you are concerned about… rest easy, Jesus died for your divorce, for your lies, for your hate, for your cheating, for your traffic tickets.

HOWEVER… Sin is also Damaging, hurtful, and destructive… that’s what makes it sin in the first place! So there are Consequences; broken homes, wrecked marriages, screwed up Kids. So, let’s talk about AVOIDING divorce.

Scripture says “husbands love your wives” and when that was written virtually ALL marriages were ARRANGED, not the result of romantic attachment. We need to stop looking to our spouse to be everything we need, to stop expecting our spouse to be the fulfillment of all our fantasies, to be perfect. Men need to love their wives as Jesus loved the Church. And Jesus died for the Church, for YOU, while you were STILL IN YOUR SINS. Jesus didn’t come looking for those who would fall at his feet, serving Him just in a faint hope of maybe being loved … Jesus came to a Rebellious people and HE decided to Love them, to give even his LIFE for them, to take the Blame for all their offenses. THAT is the model of Love that we should follow. Love is the DECISION to put your wife ahead of yourself no matter what she does.

Why do I address this primarily to men? Because in my counseling and ministry I’ve seen that most women will love a man no MATTER what he does. Of course our society is SO turned upside-down that women act like men, and men like women… but that’s another Blog.

~peace~

(12/10/2005: I feel obligated to add a caveat here, namely that I filed for divorce in September 2005 after over 30 years of marriage and 2 years of separation . I assure you that my own divorce has NOT changed my opinion on this issue, as the above was originally written LONG before I considered divorce as a personal option)

(Posted in response to a Q&A comment asking about Divorce)